Strep You Strep Me by Jon D. Podcast

[00:00:00] Listener discretion is advised.

[00:00:02] Hello and welcome to Comedy, the podcast that helps you find new, emerging, and undiscovered

[00:00:08] independent comedy podcasts. I'm Greg, the host and curator of comedy.

[00:00:14] Today's episode is from the John D Podcast.

[00:00:18] Step into the mind and small corner of the last episode, he was like, hey man, I've been meaning to be on the show. Gotta come out. Gotta do it.

[00:01:40] And I said, okay.

[00:01:41] We figured out a day would be Thursday, right?

[00:01:45] Somewhere around there, maybe before.

[00:01:47] But anyways. You know the kid does that, they swab your kid in the throat and the kid's like, and you're the parents and they're going to tell you because you remember what it was like and anytime you had to do it which so they swabbed him and I'm just talking to the to the lady that the doctor or a nurse practitioner and it's

[00:03:00] like yeah I just want to check him out whatever they the other nurse that came

[00:03:03] in that swabbed him hands the thing is got this, this, this strep thing going on. So I, I do sound, I do sound kind of, uh, kind of sexy raspy, uh, when I got the nasal thing going on.

[00:04:22] So hopefully it's not too bad, but you know, I want to get back you can hear it. Anybody can hear it at that point. Once I clean it up and I make myself sound like I'm halfway sane, at least to some people, then I feel better. Then I'm like, okay, well you can listen now. That's how podcasters do it. I don't know if you know this or not. I bet you a lot of podcasters, even the ones who are two or three people,

[00:05:42] they probably don't want a lot of people

[00:05:44] just hanging out listening.

[00:05:45] They probably really just, hey, just give us a minute.

[00:05:48] Just give us a minute. and congestion and overall icky feeling. And I said, really, doc, is that a medical term? No, he didn't say icky, I said icky. So that's what I'm dealing with. But I'm here, but yeah, you know, like I said, I kind of got a little raspy thing going on. Why don't you call me later and we'll get together,

[00:07:00] have some fondue, who wants some fondue?

[00:07:03] Does anybody eat fondue anymore?

[00:07:05] I saw something, I can make you some, well, I'm not a baker though. Not a baker as far as dessert things go. I like to bake and then I like to eat desserts. That's what I like to do. All right, but one of the things that I did last night even, and I've been doing it a little bit recently. I couldn't sleep, I was uncomfortable,

[00:08:20] and I just wanted mindless TV to watch,

[00:08:22] and it kinda was, but I always found it interesting

[00:09:23] I'm just waiting for him to go at the end of it. Go, I've got great news.

[00:09:24] And they're like, what's that?

[00:09:26] And he's like, I'm moving in with you.

[00:09:28] You know, something like that, right?

[00:09:30] There's, I'm moving in.

[00:09:32] Or no, what?

[00:09:34] Huh?

[00:09:36] I've got plenty of slippers and sheets.

[00:09:38] Yeah, they sell on the sheets that are like,

[00:09:40] I think they usually sell them for like 80 bucks

[00:09:42] or something and they're on sale.

[00:09:46] They're trying to clear them out.

[00:09:46] I don't know what the fuck, I don't know what they're doing.

[00:09:48] Some kind of bullshit. and then it drives off and it's every night at the same time. So they sent somebody out at the time that it was reported to be there and sure enough, the car was there. And she followed it, this female cop, and she followed him, followed this person and pulled him over and found a needle with heroin mixed in it.

[00:11:03] And then they got a couple more

[00:11:04] and then I don't know if she found like more.

[00:11:06] Anyways, she ended up one where the man leaves the known narcotics house and is pulled over shortly there a little bit after, and he's a school teacher. Just a normal-looking,

[00:12:21] driving along, hey, how's it going, right? He got pulled over and, yeah, he would crack that I don't know them personally but I know who they are but one of them I actually knew. Anyway it was basically it was these five people and they were all doing coke and there was fentanyl in it and one person died and I guess the other two that had been doing it lived but almost almost died and yeah but that's the thing with drugs nowadays you don't know what the fuck

[00:13:43] you're getting there's so many weird things they had people on there I was watching our cops last you know, they always, they arrest somebody. Then they always show like the sergeant and the, you know, they show a sergeant and like the other officer who was doing the initial pursuit, right? They'll show them, they'll show them talking. This guy's over here and this guy's over here and we got two in custody, also recovered a gun. You know, I lit the guy up, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:15:02] And they'll go, all right, well, sounds good, man.

[00:15:04] All right, well, another bad guy,

[00:15:06] another gun on the street.

[00:15:07] And they'll like fade out because somebody gets, no, no, cops was always, always fake. It was always, it's the original fake reality TV. And I thought, no, that can't be, it can't be fake. Cops is fake. And what I'd seen about it being fake was I pretty much, I think it was just on like social media or something

[00:16:21] that is different from it than,

[00:16:22] I'll obviously give it a listen or a whirl.

[00:16:26] But people saying, oh, cops is fake. It's the third brightest object in our sky you will see behind the sun, the moon, and then it's the International Space Station. Yeah. I know, maybe it was a third behind one of the planets. Whatever. Fucking cares. I've seen it multiple times. I've seen the goddamn space station fly over my fucking house.

[00:17:44] With binoculars, you can actually literally almost make out the panels and stuff.

[00:17:48] I'm serious. But they're pointing out that all in space or the way things you know they the way they move. First off how the fuck do you know you've been into space? These are the people that believe that this all made up. The whole thing. Cops is fake. People who believe that the International Space Station is a fake

[00:19:01] are also you'll look at a lot of times and then they changed the rule. Thank God. I mean, he was a good one, I think, right? Wasn't he? I know, I know he was. I know my history, but I'm just saying, yeah, 10 years, that's what I'm saying. There's people, this bullshit conspiracy fucking stuff. You're listening to an episode of the John D. Podcast

[00:20:23] on Comedy by Indydropn.

[00:20:26] We're gonna take a quick break.

[00:21:27] a sphericity. But this is the thing, nobody knows why people believe that there is this flat either as a religion or as a conspiracy. We don't know. I mean, that's more of a modern thing.

[00:21:33] The flat earth people before, it was a religious thing, even though scientists, astronomers,

[00:21:40] all kinds of people. And that theory has always been a constant. Okay. So for instance, when

[00:22:44] So, but other people, no, no, no, no, it's not. Okay, so that's what they did.

[00:22:46] And then in the 19th century, the flat earth thing,

[00:22:49] it basically had a resurgence is what happened.

[00:22:52] So it was actually an English writer, that's what it was,

[00:22:56] Samuel Robotham, 1816 to 1884.

[00:23:01] He kicked it for a little while, right?

[00:23:03] And he really, he published a pamphlet in 1849. And this didn't start until the 19th century. And that's what it was. And then it just has gone on and on. Oh, and I almost forgot to think about the people in the 70s. So basically what that was was the people thought that the Voyager satellites were going to go up and go into heaven, or they were gonna like pierce the blackness of the sky.

[00:24:21] That's what they thought was gonna happen.

[00:24:23] That's what they thought was gonna happen.

[00:24:25] Yeah, yeah,. I know. I know the bloody earth is flat. That's what I'm telling you. Give me another point, will you? So the Soviet Union went and fucked it all up for this guy. And they launched Sputnik, right? That was the first satellite. And then all he did was they launched it. And they were like modified organisms, the chemtrails, it's the white, go behind the planes. Has anybody ever done that? You ever had somebody go, oh, they're, they're fucking, they threw that plane up there? Yeah, it's fucking poisoning people. What? No, it's not. It's water vapor. It's kinda, it's, stop. Dinosaurs, evolution was fake.

[00:27:02] That's, they believe in that shit.

[00:27:03] A lot of them believe in that stuff,

[00:27:05] and they also believe that the Earth is flat.

[00:28:04] into a spaceship and go, look, is it fucking round? Well, it's not quite round from here.

[00:28:06] I mean, maybe it's a little,

[00:28:09] maybe it's like a contact lens.

[00:28:11] Maybe it's like that, okay?

[00:28:13] It's not flat, but it's not round.

[00:28:15] It's not round.

[00:28:17] You just go around, you go around the sides.

[00:28:19] That's what one lady said.

[00:28:20] And then there was another lady who was a flat earther.

[00:28:23] Then they said, why don't you go up in an airplane?

[00:28:25] Go up in a if you can. And I know, I could get into the whole politics, I'm kind of staying away

[00:29:40] from it, I'm sick of, I will say this, I was talking about the plate and I always call

[00:29:43] her Plate Face, a good old MTG with her. What the one with the people. Yeah, the faked moon landing. The International Space Station is fake. But the Earth is flat. That's the one I just have never. I can't wrap my mind around it. Get it? Can't even wrap my head around it. My round head, just like the

[00:31:02] Earth is. All right, I'm gonna take a break. Before I go, make sure you follow me on Twitter,

[00:32:03] Ben Mo, John D. Podcom, right? Coming up after the break, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

[00:32:07] I have some notes that say, hockey for stupids.

[00:32:10] I don't know what that's about.

[00:32:11] No, we're gonna talk, we will, we're gonna talk

[00:32:12] about some NHL because obviously there's some things

[00:32:16] to talk about that's happened.

[00:32:18] I don't know if we're gonna do anything nerdy, we might.

[00:32:20] We might, obviously, Mandalorian,

[00:32:22] I tied that up last episode.

[00:32:25] I know, I'm thinking, I'm recording.

[00:32:27] Am I gonna leave this part in?

[00:32:27] I don't tell anyone. I gotta tell you, these NHL playoffs have been absolutely crazy. I don't think anybody would have picked Florida and Vegas in the final. Nobody had it. It's just like the March Madness brackets. Nobody had it. Nobody had Vegas and freaking Florida. No, don't

[00:33:41] get me wrong. They're good teams. I'm not came and went right out of there, right out of there.

[00:35:01] But it's been good.

[00:35:03] I'm just gonna say this.

[00:35:04] Nobody expected it.

[00:35:06] Matthew Kuchuk, they would have been good, more challenging had they not been so racked with injuries. However, and this is where I had Vegas going out of the playoffs, was against the Edmonton Oilers. Connor McDavid, all them guys. Got that awesome new goalie Skinner up there. Nope, Vegas took him out.

[00:36:22] And then they faced very much improving Dallas Stars with Robertson and Ottinger. who won cups with the Kings back in the 2000 teens. You know, but he is the backup is all it is. You never know what's gonna happen in hockey. It's gonna be a good final and I'm looking forward to seeing it, you know. But as I told my son last night, the Stanley Cup will rest in sand during the summer.

[00:37:41] And he said, what does that mean?

[00:37:42] And I said, Florida, sand, Vegas, desert, sand.

[00:37:46] Oh yeah, he's about or whatever. Not even necessarily that much, but to be condescending to them or saying that they're not good, but just saying I don't have an appreciation for it. One of those people is Taylor Swift. Now, a lot of people who are

[00:39:03] near and dear to my heart like this person, they like Taylor Swift,'s pretty impressive. I don't know, I don't think Metallica would have done that. I'm serious. I don't even know that some of the biggest heavy metal acts or rock artists in the world ever, all time, would have gone out there and done that. But she did. And then, this is the thing, during, so she goes out,

[00:40:21] she's playing for an hour. She's playing for an hour and it literally torrential John D. podcast. I don't, like I said, I don't necessarily like certain people. Like there are plenty of people who are artists that I don't like what they create. Music, I love music, but there's certain people I don't like, but I recognize their talent. I was telling my wife, Cindy Lauper, I didn't necessarily like her music back in the 80s. I heard, all the girls just want to have fun.

[00:41:42] I heard that over and over and over again.

[00:41:43] That wasn't even necessarily the best song.

[00:41:45] I think she had some other ones that were good.

[00:41:47] I recognized very impressed. And I think that more artists and other people, one, wouldn't have done that. Two, need to learn a lesson from it, is what I'm saying. That way to set a bar right there. Yeah. I still don't like her music though. I'd seen them before, but that was the best time I'd ever seen them. And you just love it. But yeah, go watch that video. It is, it's a little scary. It's a little scary. But anyways, kudos to her. I just, like I said, I just want to acknowledge it. Wow, where are we going? All right, we need to get moving. Keep moving. Yeah, keep moving along. All right, so update from last episode, okay?

[00:44:21] This is something that I talked about.

[00:44:22] I talked about Jeff Bezos, Jeff Bezos,

[00:44:25] and about his yacht that he went out and bought

[00:44:27] that he had to buy another one more reason in the world to just want to go walk out and just scream at the sky. I don't know what it is. I know. I go to Amazon. I have Prime. I do all that. I'm all about it. And I don't hate the guy for what he did. He made a business. He made a business. He made money. Same time, it's like,

[00:45:42] it's just an update. Yeah. $2.5 million a little assassin, flying around in a helicopter. Wannabe Black Widow, right? Something like that. Yeah, that's just another reason. I'm just telling, I just wanted to pass that along. I'm not saying stop using Amazon.

[00:47:00] Just make this dude pay his fair share.

[00:47:03] Make them all pay their fair share.

[00:47:06] You know, and then you got people sitting there going, are. Don't put that much money into a ring, put it into something else. Get matching tattoos or something. Which, you know what, I'd sit there and I look at this picture and I swear I think, if my memory serves me correctly, I believe that his new woman looks a lot like his old woman. Yeah, 500 million dollar yacht. And then he's

[00:48:21] gonna turn around and get married to somebody who looks like his old wife?

[00:48:23] What? There's no way that, I mean I time. He's rolling. Loving Trump. He has world-renowned hits such as Let's Go Brandon, No Vaccine, really? Took you like four more years.

[00:49:42] What poetry that probably is, I'm sure. I've heard some underneath his lip, his bottom lip. He's got the hair shaved down and it says suburban legend. Yeah, I bet you are. In your little fucking inflatable pool. This guy went into Target and he made a video in the Target and he made a video. He's in the aisles.

[00:51:00] At one point he's grabbing boxes of Tampax.

[00:51:02] I saw him on TV and he makes this video and he goes in there and he's saying that how

[00:51:06] he was to Target. Don't spend your money there. But they are a privately owned business. You don't have any right to go in there and tear down shit. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. So basically what I'm proposing, if

[00:52:20] you go in someplace and the people, that's the thing, people are looking at it. They don't care about that either. Why? Because it's none of their fucking business. It's none of yours either. You have people like this Ethan Schmidt dickhead who lives out in what, Arizona or something like that? He's always talking about how he's misogynistic towards women, he says other things. Anti-Semitic.

[00:53:42] There's video of him going into a Target, walking up to a Pride thing and pulling it down.

[00:53:45] Well, guess what?

[00:53:46] The other day they found out he was a regular And then at one point she goes, it's people like you that know what's wrong with the world today. I don't know why she was saying that to him. Is it race? Was he rude? I don't know. But it's not how you fucking act. It's not how you fucking act. I don't care who you are. You got a problem with somebody, go find a manager.

[00:55:00] Yeah, go complain, do it that way.

[00:55:03] And I just love it because at the end

[00:55:04] he's just screaming at her, bye.

[00:56:02] Just drop the shit attitudes. And we as society need to make people do that.

[00:56:07] And I'm telling you, these young people, they're trying.

[00:56:09] They are trying to.

[00:56:10] Some Republican people, I think, what's this,

[00:56:14] Wama Swami?

[00:56:15] The guy's not gonna win for the Republican nomination?

[00:56:20] Him and some other people have,

[00:56:21] he's the one who stood out most immediately in my brain,

[00:56:24] but he wants to raise the voting age from 18 to 25. Then I'll go boo, boo, boo. Yeah, just boo them. They deserve to be booed, because they're bad people. And this guy forgot he'll blow. He sucks. All right, I got that off my chest. This has been a little bit, obviously, longer than I know. I sit here all the time and I go, I'm not gonna be a long episode.

[00:57:41] And then I talk and I talk and I talk.

[00:57:44] And here we are.

[00:57:46] I wanna say thanks for listening. Of course, anything for Ukraine charities, always a good thing to help those people enduring what is simply an atrocity. Don't forget Twitter, John D. Podcast, John D. Comedy, write to me, John D. Podcom at gmail.com, Facebook, John D. Podcast. And of course, if you have a little charity, you have a little chair of me, John D. Podcom

[00:59:02] on Venmo.

[00:59:03] Executive producers for John D. Podcast are Tom Hag other. Until next time. Later for you. Thanks again for listening to Comedy by Indie Drop-In Network. If you would like to nominate a comedy podcast to be featured, just send me a tweet at Indie Drop-In. I'd also love to hear if one of our featured podcasts is now your favorite

[01:00:23] show, or if you'd like to see a comedy podcast, just send me a tweet at Indie Drop-In.